Don't Tell Me Who I am... Let me guess!

by Peter Milhado, PH.D.


April 2008, VIEW #1: There are many mid-lifers who are at times concerned about an impoverished retirement or worse (i.e. having a fantasy of pushing a shopping cart around). The economic reality for most of us is that we have to work almost all of our lives.

Sisyphus was punished by the gods. He had to push a stone uphill, watch it roll back down and push it up again for eternity. More and more people in our highly technical society feel this way about their work and get up every morning with dread. Often we leave our true selves behind when we enter the workplace, put on a mask and become who the corporation or the boss wants us to be. We follow instructions from "above" even when we don't believe they will yield the desired results. Sometimes we protect our superiors even when they don't deserve our respect. We look away from ethical violations and collude with others in a conspiracy of silence (Zweig).


"...I've seen some folks who've decided to take off their masks of passive compliance to enter the workplace being more authentic and genuine with their feelings, thoughts and actions with considerable success."

We give up individuality to fit the mold at great expense to us. Then we come home and impose our resentment on our families or repress our feelings via alcohol, food and television, etc.

What to do? Well I've seen some folks who've decided to take off their masks of passive compliance and enter the workplace being more authentic and genuine with their feelings, thoughts and actions with considerable success. Its obviously a risk, but but the pay off is equally high as soul re-inters their working life. Others, because of their responsibilities, feel they have to stay in an unrewarding job and find soul elsewhere - in friendship, hobbies, family and community. This gets tricky, however, when we sacrifice our deeper creative self to neurotic fears and anxieties for safety and security. Still other take a leap of faith, face their fears and look for work elsewhere. The best circumstance for this change is when it is not done purely on impulse, when no stone has been left unturned to make the present job more soulful and when other possibilities have been well researched.

Stay Tuned for Part II, Do You Like Your Work?

Love to Mother Meera. One for all and all for one.

PETER RUDOLF MILHADO, PH.D.

Lic #MFT14142

40 Years Experience


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